Got That Meh Feeling? 7 Tips to Try If You’re Languishing
What is languishing? It’s that blah feeling many of us may have been living in for a while or find ourselves drifting in and out of, especially with the pandemic. The New York Times featured an article by psychologist Adam Grant which sheds some light on languishing and puts a word to what many of us may be feeling. I want to be clear too, languishing should not be confused with depression. While the two can appear very similar at first glance and treatment strategies for both might overlap, depression is a clinical condition with symptoms which are more severe than those in languishing and often requires professional help.
Much like our physical health, our mental health is also on a continuum. The lack of illness does not necessarily equal optimal health and the presence of an illness does not mean a person cannot thrive. This diagram from St. Francis Xavier University provides a nice visual of the mental health continuum.
While languishing is not depression, it can be a precursor to depression so it’s important to recognize it and take steps to help move from a state of languishing to flourishing. If you find yourself languishing, here are 7 things you might focus on to find your way back to flourishing.
1. Do Something Purposeful
Doing things that are meaningful to us can be fulfilling. I’m not referring to the shoulds, I’m talking about the wants. What are the things that come to mind that you want to do that bring a sense of purpose when done? For me it’s learning. Whether it’s learning something entirely new or leveling up a current skill, I feel accomplished when I learn.
2. Practice mindfulness
Bring awareness to the moment without judgment. If you feel like you are living in the movie Groundhog Day, taking the time to bring your mind into focus can be helpful and combat mindlessly moving through the day. Whether you’re taking a walk, making dinner, brushing your teeth, or simply sitting on the couch, you can be mindful. Mindfulness is bringing your attention to the here and now.
3. Move your body everyday
Taking care of our physical bodies can lend itself to mental well-being. If you are languishing it can be hard to feel motivated to exercise. It doesn’t need to be a gym session; explore ways that simply involve moving your body. Leaning into the 5 Minute Rule might also be a helpful tool to get started.
4. Seek out connections
The pandemic has highlighted our basic need for human connection. The pandemic has required us to pivot a bit in how we connect. Large gatherings or even small face to face interactions have been limited to varying degrees leaving many of us feeling isolated and lonely. Being open to new ways to connect and becoming more intentional in connecting is important. It can range from meaningful conversations with people in your ‘bubble’, to taking part in online groups, to making eye contact with the person who brings your curbside order.
5. Explore therapy
Benefits of therapy are not confined to those diagnosed with a mental illness. Therapy can help us understand ourselves and our relationships better and provide healthy coping tools as we move through life and its ever changing circumstances. Finding the right therapist is important and technology has made it possible to connect with therapists in a variety of manners. Psychology Today and Betterhelp can be places to start, as well as asking your provider for a referral.
6. Eat nourishing foods
Have I mentioned how your physical and mental health are intertwined? If we feel sluggish physically, it can carry over to our mental mood as well. Rather than think about foods to cut out, consider the approach of what foods do I want to make sure to include? Enjoy comfort foods in moderation and aim to have a fruit or vegetable at each meal along with a glass of water.
7. Check in with your sleep hygiene.
Routine might sound unappealing right now but when it comes to sleep, it can be a powerful ally. As we might be looking to distract ourselves from the mundanity of the days, we may find ourselves endlessly scrolling through our phones or watching Netflix into the wee hours of the morning (of course we’re still watching Netflix) and getting up later or starting the day tired. Good sleep hygiene plays an important role in mental and physical health.
My bonus tip if you’re feeling meh, practice kindness and patience with yourself and others—most of us are struggling to varying degrees right now. It’s okay to not be in a constant state of flourishing. Acknowledging when you are languishing can be the first step in redirecting your intentions and actions to shift from languishing to flourishing.