Fostering Self-Trust: The Role of a Coach

While health and wellness coaching has been around for some time, the role of a coach can still be a bit fuzzy. In this post I will share my views on coaching and how I coach that might be helpful if you are considering hiring a coach. You might also have the opportunity to work with a coach through your employer’s benefit program. Coaching may be a benefit you are considering adding to your organization’s health and wellness program and you’d like to have more insight as to what it entails. Regardless of how you might work with a coach this might answer some questions. As with many professions, each coach will have their own personal style and I address that in the closing remarks.

Improving the overall health and wellness of an individual is a mutual goal of the client and coach. What that looks like will vary based on the client’s focus which can vary greatly from weight loss, managing blood pressure, improving sleep, stress management or improving mental health to name just a few. The thing both client and coach need to keep in mind is that the client is in the driver’s seat. I think a point of confusion, and perhaps even initial frustration in the client/coach relationship, is when the client comes in with the idea that the coach is there to provide the answers and steer the ship.

I get it. Prior to becoming a health coach, I always thought of a coach in terms of athletics. The coach told me what to do and it was my job or the team’s job to execute. This is not the case in health and wellness coaching. I often think Collaborator would be a more fitting title for this role.

You might be wondering why would I pay for a coach if they’re not going to tell me what to do i.e. give me the answers? To this I would offer the proverb (for which I could not find a definitive source to credit, and took the liberty to make non-gender) “Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them how to fish and you feed them for a lifetime”. The coach is there to help set the client up for long term success and develop a sense of self-efficacy. The coach believes the client is the expert in their own lives and relies on their knowledge and experience to evoke the best strategies for them to achieve their goals.

I hope you’re still with me and understand you may really be questioning the value of working with a coach at this point. Not only are they not going to tell me what to do, chances are good I’m going to experience failure? Yes AND working with a coach can help you gain the confidence to navigate setbacks and evaluate why something may have worked or not worked for you.

Remember, progress is rarely linear. As you work through different strategies with the guidance of your coach, your coach can offer perspective and be an objective voice. I will often tell people I’m working with, it can be a bit like a science experiment. We can lean into the scientific data and various strategies already out there and it’s important to keep in mind the variables of our own life are important factors that come into play. Rather than asking why this didn't work for me, consider how do I make this work for me?

Many people look to coaches because they are frustrated and feel like they can’t make the changes they seek. The coach is there to add that powerful little three letter word yet to the end of the I can’t sentence. A coach can highlight progress as individuals are often eager to share where they fell short and overlook knowledge gained or efforts made. Again, the coach does not provide the answers, they draw them out. To this day one of the greatest compliments I have received as a coach is I was so frustrated and you wouldn’t just tell me what to do: you made me figure it out. I know it might seem strange, and for me this encapsulates coaching. Helping a person learn to fish is where the magic lies for me. The individual was empowered with a greater level of self-trust—they can create change and take on challenges. Let me be clear, as a coach I don’t sit idly by, education and suggestions are provided when appropriate; however, the meat of coaching lies in being curious with the client and exploring what is possible and practicable. 

If you are considering working with a coach, I recommend reaching out for a consultation. Many coaches (including myself) offer this free of charge to give you, and the coach, an opportunity to explore if you are a good fit to work together. If you have more questions about coaching, please reach out to me here.